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Ask Michelle - Questions & Answers about Meth Addiction and Recovery

  • Dec

    Can I Trust a Recovering Meth User and How Can I Tell If They Start Using Again?

    I am a 35 year female who has recently met a 35 year old man who used to do Meth for many years, He is four years clean. He was very upfront with me about his past and even has prior criminal record (burglary) that is from 16 years ago. I really like him and we connected immediately but I am nervous. Part of me wants to give this a go but I have never done drugs and I do not want any parts of that life style around me or my kids. I do not know what to look for and I do not want my heart broken either if he were to relapse (which I would end it immediately) . He is very open about it but I do not ask too many questions because I don't know what I should ask. I can only imagine that must be part of his life he does not want to remember. When he does talk about it he refers to it as his meth days and I just listen and have told him upfront that I have never been a part of that word and I cannot know what you mean because I never walked those shoes but I can try to understand.. I guess what I am asking is what questions can I ask and should I ask him? What should I look for? I know there is no guarantee he will stay clean because it is a life time disease but what are the chances? Should I walk away before I give him my heart? I believe everyone deserves a chance but is this risk for myself and kids? Can I trust him?

    I wouldn't just walk away right now and you're right everyone deserves a chance but the only way for you to build trust is to be open and honest with him about your fears and concerns. As hard as it is honesty is as important on your part as it is his. Staying clean for four years is admirable because maintaining recovery isn't always easy. This is a subject you both have to be able to talk about and if he received treatment and therapy for his meth use he will understand your fears and concerns and want to be upfront with you.

    If you're just starting a relationship you have the right to know how long he used meth and if there were any other substance abuse during his life. You also have the right to know if he received treatment or attended a support program during his recovery which makes a huge difference when it comes to relapse. If he talks with you freely and understands your fears and concerns take it slow. If he doesn't want to talk about it and says he wants to forget those days and put them behind him, that's not fair to you or your children. As far as trust, that comes with honesty and time just know that it's just as important for you to express your fears and concerns as it is for his complete honesty. Not everyone experiences all of the symptoms below but they are signs associated with meth use.

    Signs of Meth Use

    1. Dilated pupils
    2. Dry mouth
    3. Insomnia
    4. Nervous scratching
    5. Hyperactivity
    6. Repetitive behavior
    7. Irritability
    8. Restlessness
    9. Confusion
    10. Paranoia
    11. Delusions
    12. Loss of appetite
    13. Loss of weight
    14. Increased sweating
    15. Clenching or grinding of the teeth
    16. Drug paraphernalia

    Meth users also have sores or rashes on the body from compulsive scratching and picking.

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