Letters from Crystal Meth Users

• Jan
  06

  Blind To The Dangers of Meth

  Meth was so dangerous to me, because I didn't see how dangerous it really was. The first time I used meth, I smoked it for free, and in that first time, I probably smoked it about 10 times. That first time went on for about 2 days. I couldn't sleep I could eat but I didn't want to I just wanted to smoke more. My body really just wanted to sleep, because after I finally started coming down I felt incredibly tired. Still couldn't sleep so instead of sleeping, I kept smoking.

  When I finally did get some sleep, I woke up and thought I never wanted to do it again. However, I found that when I went on my daily routine, working and smoking weed after work, and drinking, I was angry, irritable and tired. I didn't even want to drink, and I'm an alcoholic. All I wanted was to smoke more meth, and this asshole had given me a pipe and free crystal. I thought it was just nice of him, but he just wanted to control me and maybe get some money from me.

  Less than 2 weeks later, after the first time I smoked, I had quit my job, and was driving around selling meth, doing basically the same thing he had done because he lost his contact., and me and my friend had took his place. After the 2nd week of selling it, I had been up for almost a week straight, hadn't been home for a week, hadn't eaten for about 3 days. I was paranoid, nervous, irritable, stressed, confused, and violent. At this point my friend and I had picked up other people who were coming along with us to smoke and sell. Our contact told us to find the asshole that got me started because he owed him a good sum of money. So here we are driving around on no sleep looking for some kid for a meth dealer. When we found him, we almost killed him, everything had gone to plan, but there really wasn't much planning, when it happened it happened quickly, and we really just scared him and gave him a bit of a warning and a chance to get the hell out of this state, because he was lucky to have any chance at all. That was not our intent at all, but that's what ended up happening. Luckily what we intended to happen didn't, cause I could be a fugitive right now, but instead I'm writing this.

  What I'm saying is murder is never something I would normally do especially when it's not a personal issue. But when you've been up for days, and your paranoid, confused and stressed you're not in much of a mental state to make good decisions, and you're really not making decisions at all, the meth will make them for you. I know it probably sounds like bullshit, but I hope you take my word for it. METH WILL DESTROY YOUR LIFE. I've been blessed with a 2nd chance fortunately, and I thank God for that. But some aren't that fortunate, and if I didn't stop when I did it would have destroyed me.
  
  Alex

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  Posted on January 6th, 2011

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