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Letters From Family & Friends of Meth Addicts

  • Jan
    30

    My Husband's a Meth User

    Hi, I am a 41-year-old woman who has been married to the same man for 12 years now. Between us, we have three children which we were raising his two and my one. Two years ago, my husband started using meth. I was not sure what our problem was, just that there was a major problem. Everything about him changed, from his personality towards me and the children, to a dysfunctional sex life. His attitude changed completely towards me and our children.

    I finally got enough last year and left him, still not realizing what the problem was. He had done meth many years before we were together and had outgrown it. I thought. I never would have thought at the age of 40 years he would turn back to it, especially knowing how I felt about it. During the six months that we were apart, he continuously begged me to come home. Since I still loved this man with everything inside me, I went home. It was worse than it had ever been. Finally, I realized what was wrong with him and started accusing. Needless to say, he continually denied it. I stayed with him for another five months with him still in denial. I would pack my things to leave again, and he would cry and beg and convince me to stay, and promise that he would act right, but still would not admit his addiction. I finally left him again.

    He is still begging me back, and I will admit that I have been seeing him and he seems to be clean. He says that he knows that the only way he will be able to have me is to remain clean. God forgive me, but I still love him very much. Both of his children have moved away because of his temperament during this time. My son is graduating from high school and heading to college in a couple of months. It is only he and I left. My question, I guess is this; am I a fool for believing that he can stay clean? He has admitted everything to me, and is openly talking about it to me anytime I feel the need to ask questions. Trust is a major problem for him and me now, but I am working on trying to trust him again. He says he was smoking it, but says he has no problem resisting it now. Am I stupid for even trying again? Is it really possible for him to stop? Is it possible for us to have the wonderful marriage that we had before? Or should I just get over my heartache and go on with my life? All of my family hates him and I realize that if I go back to him that will be another obstacle to overcome. Is it worth it? Do you give up on the ones that you love because they have an addiction? I don't know what to do. I just know that I love him so much.

    Heartbroken


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