Letters From Family & Friends of Meth Addicts

• Feb
  27

  My Babies Daddy

  I met this guy almost four years ago and we started dating and shortly moved in together. He was a big drinker and I wasn't into drinking that much, but went with him to the bars because I wanted to be with him and not have him leave me to go get 'Drunk', so I started drinking with him.

  He then started getting very hateful and mean with me over time but it was too late, I was pregnant with his baby and was so happy that I was. The Doctors had told me for 13 years that I couldn't have any more children. I already had an older daughter and that was it. So when I found out I was pregnant I was so thrilled.

  While drunk one night Richard called his 10 year old daughter from a previous marriage to come into the room so he could talk to her. He was sitting butt naked on the bed and I told him don't do this to her, please Richard, and he grabbed the sheet and threw it over himself, thinking he had covered his whole bottom half, but the sheet just went over one leg and draped down that leg. So needless to say, he made his daughter sit directly in front of him butt naked with everything hanging out in front of her. I was sickened by this and I did tell her Mother about it.

  Richard continued to drink and was starting to tell me to pack my things and get out. He would rub in the fact that he had all kinds of skinny nice looking women that wanted to be with him. So one day I had enough of him telling me to get out, so I called a few friends (Males) to come help me move my things out. The Police told me that I did not have to leave until I had all of my things out so I paged Richard to let him know I would be staying one more night but really didn't want him to come there, and that he would have to get a motel for the night or stay with a friend.

  He came to the house drunk despite what I said and he ended up kicking the door in on me and the nails from the door cut my arm. The Police were called and he got put in jail for Public intoxication, and Family violence. A restraining order was put out and we were not allowed to see each other or talk to one another for 90 days.

  I didn't answer his calls but was sad when he would leave messages on my phone crying and telling me he would do better and that he would get back in AA. So I fell for it, wanting my baby to have a daddy that loved and cared for her. I did raise my oldest daughter on my own without her dad, so I don't know what I was thinking. I can do it again all by myself.

  We got back together after the restraining order was over and it happened again. He came home drunk, this time throwing me on the bed and choking me while pregnant. He then hauled off and punched me in the mouth. He broke the coffee maker, an expensive stereo/karaoke machine my daughter had, and the microwave. The police came out and were afraid to arrest him because he had a gun under the bed where he was sitting. On this night I found photos of another woman in his truck covering up my photos. Another restraining order was put out on him and I didn't talk to him for several days, but then fell for his crying again and talked to him.

  Again I gave him another chance to come home and make things right. He went to AA and I went to help support him and he was with me when I gave birth to our precious daughter in July 2001. He was not a very good coach; because he complained the whole time I was in labor and never showed me any kind of love. We were so proud of our baby girl. On my birthday in October he didn't come home and I had made a nice dinner so we could have dinner by candle light and he never showed up. He then came home very late and was drunk and I told him to go stay in a motel or to sleep in his truck because it was my birthday and he was messing up again.

  He got very angry and was shouting obscene things to me about me and my older daughter and the Police were called by the other party that I was on the phone with at the time, for him yanking the phone lines out of the phone box outside. He went to jail and another restraining order was put out for him again. This time he got a criminal mischief charge against him and was on probation for a year. He has done well for the whole year with nothing to drink and has not come home drunk.

  He started smoking pot a lot and I really didn't have a problem with it as long as he did it outside the home and didn't bring it into the home. At least he wasn't acting like a fool like he did when he was drunk. He was very abusive while drinking. Things were going very good until he stopped smoking pot. He started sneaking up to the house thinking he was going to catch me talking to another man on the phone, or listening to what my daughter and I were talking about.

  One night my daughter was using the rest room with the light off and called me in there, so I was talking to her when I saw something through her shades, I whispered for her to look through them and see what it was. She peeked through them and there standing looking in her window was Richard.

  He started getting very abusive and the name callings got worse. He was calling us things such as stupid bitch, fucking cunt, you nasty white trash whore, Slut, Fat ass cow, fat ass bitch etc. My family kept telling me to get out of the relationship because it wasn't good for our daughter, but I just kept staying with him hoping I could help him with this problem. I felt like I had helped him to stop drinking, but the pot helped him to stop drinking and when he stopped smoking pot, I knew there was something else that he was using and it was making him very paranoid, a lot of mood swings, sores all over his arms, his hands were very dry and his toenail on his big toes were starting to disappear, due to cutting and picking at them.

  I was washing a load of his clothes when I found something resembling a piece of broken soap. Someone told me it was probably a crack rock so I had a few people who were clean and able to look at it without having withdrawals to come and tell me that it was indeed crack. I confronted Richard about it and he said he has never done crack in his life. He did admit to using crystal meth at work by wrapping it in a piece of bread and eating it. Then I began to notice that when I would wake up at night he would be sitting in the living room watching TV. and doing things for long periods of time. I asked him why he wasn't sleeping and his excuse was always that I was snoring to loud or talking in my sleep and he couldn't sleep.

  Things started coming up missing from the house that belonged to me and I just couldn't take it anymore. The sex with him even disgusted me. I would fall asleep as soon as I hit the bed for fear of having to have sex with him. This drug was taking a toll on me and my family. His family all had already given up on him and me and my family tried to help him. He would always tell me that his family would not have anything to do with him, because he was with me and I was no good for him.

  I finally broke up with him and sent him packing since the house I live in belongs to my dad, and told him that he needed help and to stop coming around us until he was clean or could be a good father and husband. I told him I did not need that crap in my life and that his daughter didn't deserve to have to listen to him tell her that I hate her and that her mom is a liar, when he was the one lying about everything. I had even caught him cheating on me two different times with two different women and he even denied that too. It seems I catch him doing something and he lies about it, then he calls me the liar and says I am cheating on him. I would never ever cheat on anyone I am with. I was taught a lot better than that.

  I got a phone call from Richard's cell phone, and after saying hello three times, I could hear him and his friend mike talking about some things and Richard told mike I have a big ol' rock over here. Then I could hear them lighting their lighters and smoking it. Then Richard said lets go to the bowling alley and pick up some young hot chicks. I also heard a voice asking how much they had. Like someone wanted to buy some off of them. I also heard a dinging sound like glass on concrete and Richard yelled at Mike, "Don't break my pipe man, it's the only one I have". I listened to about 30-45 minutes of Richard talking trash about me and putting me down and those using drugs and my heart was racing 100 miles per hour, not wanting to believe what I was hearing.

  One night I was coming home from dropping off my daughter's boyfriend and saw the police surrounding his truck. I drove around and watched what was going on to see if he was getting arrested and all and they loaded him in the car and took him to jail right away.

  I called up there and asked what he was charged with and they said a DWI. I asked them if any drugs were found in his truck and they said no. He refused to blow and also refused a blood test.

  I got a call from Richard from the jail and he asked me to go to where the police had taken his company truck and get all of his belongings out of his work truck because he knew that he was going to get fired from his job. He said that I was the only person he trusted in his truck and that I would be hurt by some of the things that I would find in his truck, but to please go get everything out of his truck and we would talk about things later.

  I did as he wished and went and got everything out of his truck but while doing so I saw something between the seat and console on the floor, when I went to grab it my finger got cut badly and I pulled my finger out and saw the blood. I then wrapped my finger up and reached under there and pulled out what looked like a glass pipe. The bowl on it was broken. I have been doing a lot of reading and research on this drug since he told me he ate it in bread. Most of the symptoms I have found he has.

  When I got home with all of Richard belongings from out of his truck, I decided it would be best to go through it all and see what else I could find that our sorry police department didn't find when they searched his truck. I found another ice pipe that looked a little different from the one that cut me. I also found a lot of pornography magazines, and Movies, along with a map with all areas circled and x'ed out on the map around my home. He had been caught in the past sitting down on back roads watching my home with his binoculars. He still has been coming up to my home at night listening to phone conversations and listening to what is being said in the house.

  I have tried again to get a restraining order but they will not give me one unless he does something to me and my family. I am scared he is going to be on drugs one night and come out to my home and hurt us badly or kill us. I am terrified that he won't get help and now with no job he may start stealing from others to get his drugs. I just hope that I can get something to keep him away from us. I am scared and very lonely right now, but I will get through this for myself and my girls. I will be strong this time, because now I know he has a big problem, if it is not beer it is drugs. Richard has no family left that care, no vehicle, no home, and no children that want to be with him, so maybe he will hit rock bottom and get help. I was able to get a criminal trespass warning against him yesterday.
  
  Terri, Texas, USA

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  Posted on February 27th, 2011

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