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Meth Addict's Personal Stories

  • Feb
    12

    Abusing Meth to Relieve My Depression

    Abusing Meth to Relieve My Depression

    Hello! I am Alexdee and I'm an addict (recovering). I'm 21 years old. I live with my Mother, Father, and 15 year old brother. I live in the San Gabriel Valley in California.

    I teach a computer class to elementary school children at a summer day camp, and go to school full time. I'm finally getting my driver's license, which is a huge step for me.

    I used meth since I was 17. I started out as a "recreational user", using only once every couple months. Then, last summer my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me. It was devastating. I became really depressed and eventually I got a little wild. I started hanging out with all my using friends. I would get high every chance I got. I eventually started buying it every once in a while. I became really good friends with this girl who sold it, so it was pretty much free all the time. I got totally strung out, and obsessed with the weight loss. I got speed bumps really bad, and completely ruined my skin. I now have hundreds of scars all over my body from constantly scratching my itching skin. I lost so much weight, I looked really ill. My mom thought I was bulimic, the whole time I was using. Basically I had all the typical symptoms and side effects of a heavy meth user, the hallucinations and paranoia, the depression and hopelessness. Eventually I had a pretty huge wakeup call and quit using. I have been clean for about 8 months. I am so proud of myself for getting away from that mess.

    Moose is my boyfriend. He is also a recovering addict. His recovery hasn't been quite as smooth a ride as mine. While dealing with co-dependency issues. I realized how devastating meth and its affects can be. I want to try to help as many people as possible understand this tragic epidemic. My story was 4 pages long, and grouped into 3 parts. The last 2 parts have a lot to deal with Moose, so I've decided not to post them at this time. I just wanted to share a little about myself.

3 Responses to Abusing Meth to Relieve My Depression

  • Andy M.

    October 28th, 2011

    Your story reminds me so much of myself. I used meth for the first time when I was 15 years old at a party. I thought it was cool and fun, but I wasn't horribly preoccupied about using again. About three months later I used at another party and then I started finding ways to go to parties every month to use. Soon enough I was going to a party every weekend and using. Eventually every weekend wasn't often enough so I started using a couple of times a week, and then every day, and then multiple times a day. By that point meth had totally taken over my life.

    It took me a really long time to get clean. I tried a couple of times to stop using on my own. I'd be successful for varying intervals of time, but it was usually only a couple of weeks at a time. Finally I realized that I needed to do something differently, so I started going to 12-step meetings. I worked the steps and got a sponsor and that helped a lot, but I started feeling the cravings coming back and I didn't know how to deal with them, so I started seeing a drug counselor.

    My counselor has been instrumental to my recovery. She helped me to learn that my depression was the fuel that kept me an addict. I used to mask my depression. Now I'm learning how to deal with my depression without drugs. I've been clean for almost a year!

  • Miranda K.

    October 28th, 2011

    My experience with meth was sort of like yours. It started out being fairly harmless, or so I thought. I'd use every now and again. I'd estimate it was three or four times a year. Soon enough, though, I just couldn't live without meth. I don't know what happened or what changed, but I was completely engrossed in my addiction. I couldn't seem to think about anything except fueling my addiction.

    My addiction was the most important thing in the entire universe to me. I dropped out of college even though I was only a semester away from graduating because my addiction was more important than school to me. It was also more important than my relationships with my friends and my boyfriend. It didn't take long for me to stop talking to anyone that didn't do drugs or wouldn't help me get drugs.

    I don't know what happened, but one day I decided that I wanted to stop using meth. I got into rehab and credit them and my therapist for helping me to get clean and sober. That day was almost a year ago. Tomorrow I'll be 11 months clean and sober. I didn't realize it before, but until now I never knew what true happiness was. All I knew was depression, survival and what it felt like to be completely numb due to drug use. I'm so happy that I don't have to live like that anymore. I know that this is just the beginning of my happy, sober life.

  • Jerry M.

    October 28th, 2011

    I can relate a lot to your story. I started using meth when I was a senior in high school. I have no idea what possessed me to start using then. I was an honor roll student and on track to graduate as Valedictorian. Every college I applied to accepted me. I even had scholarship offers at a couple of schools. Life was good, or so I thought. Once I started using meth everything went downhill fast. I failed my last semester of classes so all of the college acceptances were gone along with the scholarship offers. I didn't care, though, and continued to use meth for another year before I woke up and realized that I was wasting my life. I was dedicating my life to a drug that was only hurting me.

    I got into rehab and have been clean for almost six months. I passed my GED exam last month and am enrolling in college to start next semester. I'm living at home with my mom, dad, older brother and an adorable Cocker Spaniel puppy. I want to start working soon, but I'm trying to take things slow. After a semester or two of college with things going well I'll seriously look into getting a job, but for now my sobriety has to be my top priority. I know that I'll always be an addict, but my recovery and sobriety are so new that I don't want to risk losing them. Life is too amazing as a sober person to risk losing it!

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