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Meth Addict's Personal Stories

  • Mar
    02

    New Relationship and Meth Use

    New Relationship and Meth Use

    Hey I am Victoria, or Vicky; I go by both. I am 37. I have been addicted to caffeine and tobacco for years, and have also used marijuana on a regular basis for years. I have been widowed for 5 1/2 years now and for about 4 1/2 have been trying to find someone I could be happy with again. Then last year, October of 2002, I met a man who was perfect... 6'4",200 #s. Thick brown hair and gorgeous blue eyes, and the sharpest mind I had ever encountered. I mean I watched him fix everything, from lawn mowers, to cars, to electrical, to plumbing, to even a gut-shot dog.

    We live in Podunk, Texas. He was absolutely amazing in every way, and still is to me, though he has lost sight of that fact. The man can fix anything... except maybe himself.

    The first few months were bliss for me. He was having some problems... going through a divorce, some legal problems, loss of his building business, but I was convinced that I had found a man of intelligence and integrity. He met my kids, saved the dog, won our hearts. The first date he told me that he had recently lost about 60 pounds and felt better than he had in a long time. He also introduced me to "ice." We used it every few weeks and usually either partied with friends or puttered in the barn. I thought he was feeling the same way I was about it. Fun but nothing to work for or strive for. An occasional late night. But soon we were arguing all the time and then he was telling me that I couldn't handle the meth and that our (very real) other problems were all in my head, or that I just liked to fight.

    So it got to be very occasional that he shared with me, and he claimed that he was not using either, but he was always out very late and sometimes didn't come home at all. Then we decided to quit (a few times actually) and I have, but now he is home less than ever, very secretive, and leaves me stranded and things like that. Sometimes he denies use, sometimes not. His usual tactic is to accuse me of chewing on him and to just leave.

    I know from this site that some come back, and I am hoping that this is still possible, and that we can regain what we had, but I have a hard time taking the apathy and the back and forth. I feel a lot more hopeful after finding this site and am hoping that the obvious abundance of character present here might help carry us both through.

3 Responses to New Relationship and Meth Use

  • Veronica M.

    October 28th, 2011

    I have never been much of a dater and in the past few years started to think about whom I would be with when I got old and gray. It occurred to me that it would be nice to have someone who I could rely on and consider to be my partner. I started to look into dating online and actually found a really great guy. He seemed to be everything I wanted in a man. We went out several times and I found him to be amazing. Then one night we went to his friend's house for a few hours. While we were there they brought out the meth and started to use. I didn't know he used at all so when it was so natural for him I was shocked. I had no interest in it but didn't really want to ruin his fun. I figured he is an adult and knows what he is doing.

    I recently found that he was using more and more when I was around and I started to think about how much he must be using when I am not around. He didn't see it as a problem when I asked him about it and has started simply not coming around as much. I a worry that he needs help and want him to go to rehab, but I can't convince him there is a problem. Even threatening to never see him again hasn't worked. I know if he doesn't get help soon he is likely to get into trouble.

  • Tim C.

    October 28th, 2011

    I've just started dating someone knew after my divorce last year and I think she is awesome. I have told her this several times and all of my family feels the same way about her. One night about a month ago she decided to share her secret with me and I am not sure how to handle it. She is using meth on a regular basis and thinks that everything is just fine. I thought maybe I was overreacting but she seems to be using all the time and doesn't seem to hold anything as high in her life as the meth. This scares me starting a new relationship because I do not want to be the one who has to worry about her all the time when she goes out all night. I really care for her but want her to get some help.

    She wants to share her meth with me and I am not interested in taking that journey. I hope that she finds the help that she really does need before it is too late. I am trying to decide if it is time to leave her, but I just can't seem to do it. I don't want to abandon her and would love for her to turn things around for the both of us. I have really deep feelings for her and want her to see how much she means to me and how wonderful she really is without the meth ruling her entire life.

  • Stephanie H.

    October 28th, 2011

    I'm still not sure how I got into a relationship with an addict and didn't realize it until months after we had been together. He hid it from me really well until one night when I asked him why he has so much energy and he showed me his secret. I haven't had much experience with drugs other than marijuana so I wasn't really sure about trying it when he offered. I trusted him so I figured I would give it a shot. I found myself liking it way too much and decided I needed to stop. I learned that he used meth daily and that it was taking over his life. His moods changed dramatically and he was angry because I didn't want to join him. I couldn't understand how someone as smart and talented as he is would ever choose meth over his life. I tried to talk him into going into a rehab program and getting clean, but he thought I was just being petty and didn't want him to enjoy himself.

    I don't know the best way to help him but I do know that I can't wait for him to change for too much longer. I need him to be a strong partner and I don't believe he can do that on meth. I am hoping he will choose his life over meth and listen to what everyone is telling him, but I am thinking it is going to take a lot for him to decide there is a problem.

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