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Meth Addict's Personal Stories

  • Mar

    The Oblivion That is Meth Addiction

    The Oblivion That is Meth Addiction

    I was "Bubbles" of the PowerPuff Girls. "Saving the world before bedtime" was our motto. Except we didn't have a bedtime after my "sisters" Blossom and Buttercup introduced me to meth in September of 2001. I was 26.

    At first I didn't like meth, or chicken as we referred to it, all that much. We'd go out to the bars and get drunk then go do meth and I'd be up for my hangover instead of passed out - yuck.

    Eventually we got to the point where the main thing we did was meth, and X. Then I looked forward to our weekend binges like nothing else in my life.

    When I joined my new group of friends they had already been at it for a year or so and things were already beginning to unravel for them. Over the course of a year I watched lots of people spiral down into the oblivion that is meth addiction. Myself included.

    Things really went downhill fast when Blossom started dating a dealer. He moved in with her, of course, and kept her dope pipe full. He would also give her rolls and GHB during the week so she ended up calling in sick a lot. She started hearing from neighbors that he had people in and out of the house all day long so she started going home at lunch to check on him (and get high). Eventually it got to the point where she'd show up for work around 10, leave for lunch at 12, come back around 2, and leave for home around 4. She was a sales person so she got away with this schedule for almost 6 months before she got "laid off".

    When we were doing dope us girls always had pimples. But Blossoms were the worst. At first it was just a few on her face. Then "I can't wear that shirt because my back is broke out". Then one day in the Spring of 2002 I caught her coming out of the shower. I was horrified at what she'd been hiding. Big red sores and scars all over her body. I just cried and begged her to stop - as we were hitting the bowl. This is when I got a clue that I had to stop using meth.

    Things went from bad to worse pretty damn fast. Blossom's house was robbed twice. Her boyfriend had been popped twice and we suspected he had turned informant only to screw over the cops too so he went to jail. Blossom lost her phone, got lots of warnings that she was going to lose her power and water only to come up with the money at the last minute. Had collectors calling on her car and her house payments. And had the cops watching her house. I watched her go through a $3,000 check from HUD that was supposed to put a new roof on her house and her $3,000 tax refund money as well as whatever was in her checking account. When she got fired she didn't have a penny to her name. It was the hardest thing in the world to watch.

    At the same time we were watching our other sister Buttercup go down the same path. When we started she was a married mother of 3 out with the girls on the weekend. After a few months she left her husband and 3 kids and became the head dealer's crank whore. She now has the same sores all over her body and literally looks and feels like a skeleton. When I last saw her I hugged her and I swear to God it felt every bone in her body, it was awful.

    So what about Bubbles? I first started trying to get out in July of 2002. I'd make it about 2 weeks and go back. It's so strange to me how you have no clue at all that you're addicted until you try to quit. Then you realize just how bad things are.

    Then I started dating a guy who did it and I got back to doing it quite alot. He had convinced me I was just hanging with the wrong crowd and it wasn't the drug that was so bad, it was them. I wasn't able to quit until we stopped seeing each other so much.

    I first quit dope in September of 2002. This is when things got really hard for me. The paranoia was unreal. Everyone was out to get me, people were watching me. The mood swings were horrible. And the cravings had me seriously contemplating suicide. I couldn't imagine living the rest of my life craving a drug I knew made me sick in every way.

    What's so strange is that the way I was being those first few months clean you would have thought for sure I was doing drugs instead of trying to get clean from drugs. I could tell people felt that way too from the way I was treated by my boss.

    I made it exactly 3 months and I relapsed. My mistake? Staying in touch with 2 people who still did dope. They knew how hard I'd worked to get clean and in the end showed me that they didn't care. My relapse lasted almost 2 months before reality came crashing down on me again. I've learned my lesson though and I will not speak with anyone who does meth, not even on the phone.

    So here I am. 4 months clean. Feeling better than I've felt in almost 2 years. Thrilled to finally be free from the meth world. I don't look back on those days with any kind of nostalgia. It was a scary time. And what scares me most is that I didn't even know it until I got out of it.

    Peace and Love to you all! I couldn't have done it without you. The knowledge and support I've had are priceless. Skye

3 Responses to The Oblivion That is Meth Addiction

  • Libby C

    October 28th, 2011

    Finding my way out of a meth addiction took more work than anything in my life partly because I had no idea I was addicted. In my world I was just hanging out with the gang and doing a little meth now and then. This was true until now and then became more and more frequent. I had no idea that I was becoming addicted until one day I realized how much of my life was consumed with getting the next high. I even forgot about picking my kids up on a number of occasions because I was busy getting high. I decided that I had to stop using and thought for sure that was the end.

    It wasn't the end at all. I stopped and started about fifteen times before I realized I was addicted to meth and couldn't stop by myself. I needed help to get there and to get my life back on track before I lost everything really important to me. I checked myself into a rehab program and was determined that I would stop and it would be done. It was so much harder than I ever dreamed. I was shocked that I was so hooked that even in rehab I couldn't stop thinking about doing it. I did learn the tools to stay clean and how to get help if I needed it without being embarrassed about it. My children and my own life are more important than feeling embarrassed that I am an addict.

  • Danny D.

    October 28th, 2011

    I first used meth when I went to a party with a friend. I had a bad day and my boyfriend and I broke up after I found him cheating on me. My friend thought I needed a diversion and meth was her way of doing that. After that first time I would choose to do it whenever we went out. This seemed harmless enough until I realized how much money and life I was wasting on meth. I thought I just needed to stop wasting on meth and get going with my life. I had met a new guy and he was terrific so it was time to stop playing games and get serious about growing up. He didn't know I used meth and I didn't really want him to.

    I couldn't stop using it. I tried and could only make it a few days before needing more. Even though I had the greatest guy and some amazing things going on in my life I couldn't stop. I had no idea I was addicted to meth because it was so blinding. I was clueless. I finally told my new guy everything and told him I needed help. He was very supportive and I went into an outpatient rehab treatment center to get clean and stay that way. It takes everything I have to stay clean and avoid using when life gets stressful, but thankfully I have great support systems in place and the tools to do accomplish the goal.

  • Alisha B.

    October 28th, 2011

    I have never been addicted to anything in my life. I don't smoke and I don't drink. When I first did meth it was because my boyfriend was using and I wanted to keep up with him. I gave it a try and thought it wasn't bad so I used it again. Before long I was using every time I saw him and I would make sure to see him often. Eventually he and I split up and I decided I was going to stop using meth since I didn't see him any more. Well that sounded like a great idea until I tried it. I made it one week and then went looking for meth. I couldn't keep my mind off from it. I wanted it all the time and when I wasn't doing it I was thinking about when I could do it. I tried to stop over and over and over again. It hit me that I was an addict. I didn't see it before.

    I couldn't stop without help and had to go to a rehab center which was very embarrassing to me. I felt humiliated that I didn't have control over my own life and that I couldn't pick my own direction. I got the help I needed and swore to never go back to drugs. Finding a way to make it through each day takes effort and I need all of the resources that they taught me in rehab but I have my life back.

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