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Methamphetamine Abuse Poems

  • Mar
    28

    My Husband

    My husband used to love me
    He cared so much for me
    Now he's always away from home
    Far away from his family
    Crystal took him away from us
    And we miss him so very bad
    But even when he is around
    He's not the same man we once had
    And when he's home he's with the guys
    That he says are his friends
    But he's just the man who shares his dope
    Will he see this when it ends
    I miss my husband oh so much
    And the four kids miss their dad
    All the neglect that we've felt
    Do you think he might feel bad
    And although he leaves us all the time
    Broke and without food
    We know that he will soon return
    When he's in a come-down mood
    I plea and beg then sit and cry
    For him not to leave this time
    But he turns away not looking back
    And says he'll be back sometime
    Now it's time to tell the kids
    To say daddy left once more
    But they already know, they're used to it
    How much must they endure
    Late at night I stare out the window
    Hoping tonight he will come home
    Uncontrollably crying cause it hurts
    God I feel so alone
    And I will soon find out
    That outside my bedroom door
    Are my four little children wondering
    What's mama crying for
    I want my husband back
    And the kids NEED their dad
    Honey if you come home I promise
    I won't say nothing to make you mad
    Will you ever open your eyes
    And will you ever see
    That all we even want from you
    Is for you to be the man you used to be

    By: Ladonna Alvare

12 Responses to My Husband

  • Jesus Sanchez

    March 30th, 2011

    Ladonna ive felt alone at times it got to the point where it went so far people cant take it anymore as much it hurts you're gonna have to let it go hes only hurting you thats all hes doing he's being selfish i had the same problem it got to a point where i lost the one i love it hurts but why live in misery that you know you can get yourself out of i wish the best for you take care :)

  • Charlie101

    April 4th, 2011

    It's important to be strong in this kind of situation, our family can be very helpful and we need to have faith specially for our child. Hoping one day he will return and ready to undergo a treatment that can make him whole again.

  • Katie

    June 3rd, 2011

    I totally understand where you are coming from. I lived that life. I feel so stupid because I didn't know about his addiction. He always made me feel like I was crazy and it was my fault that he wasn't staying at home. His friends were "HIS BOYS". Me and the kids were in his way most of the time. Remember to keep your head up. You have been this strong. kick your habit!!!! (Its him.) It becomes addicting for you to worry and stress. It has become your life style. I did this for 2 years. I finally had a nervous breakdown and had to be hospitalized. I realized my kids only have ME. I can't depend on him for anything but to disappoint us. He was a good man too. We had a great life, big house, and nice things. We have lost everything. I understand.

  • Tom

    September 16th, 2011

    Ladonna,
    I'm sorry for what you're going through. I was the addict in a similar situation. Thank God I didn't have kids, but it wouldn't have made much difference.
    Your husband is not the one you're dealing with. You only see your husband on rare occasions, the rest of the time you see the addiction. It is not your husband who comes home and takes the money and ignores you and the kids.
    The good news is your husband is still there, under all that and you could get him back if he goes to drug-free treatment somewhere.
    The bad news is that you can't keep living with the addiction. It is killing him and it is killing the family. If you don't cut him out of the loop, you will be dragged down with him.
    It will get worse that it is now if he doesn't quit using. And you and the kids will suffer worse when it does. The best thing you can do for him is to take care of yourselves. Leave. Don't tell him where you're going and get back on YOUR feet.
    Then you can see what you can do for your husband.
    Good luck and be strong for your kids!

  • Jonathan Lentz

    September 17th, 2011

    OH MY GOODNESS!!!! Having someone else describe the awful things I have put my wife through, really helps the reality of my actions smack me in my face. I apologize to my wife but also to any spouse that has lived the meth nightmare. Stay strong!!!!!

  • Melissa

    June 7th, 2014

    J - What finally helped you to wake up and stop? I refuse to leave my husband. He's my best friend and I have to get him help.

  • Becky

    June 14th, 2015

    Im am going through the same thing, My best friend, The love of My life, My high school sweet heart, We have been married for 36 years, and crystal meth has consumed my husband. I too have 3 daughters, all well educated adult daughters thanks to their hard working dad that put them all through colledge. My husband is a smart intelligent man, But hes hooked..Its been 8 mo now that we know of, he wont come home.. He knows now we all know. I will stand by my man He needs help and i want to be there for him.. He a hard worker makes good money But is not contributing to the fam anymore..I have seeked help for my self Been in ER with anxiety twice Cry myself to sleep. I want My Husband back I miss him so much, Is it possible to cure him.

  • Angelica

    March 23rd, 2012

    WOW!!!! I have gone through the same situation also. I also had to learn that my husband was my drug. I am very much trying to recover and put my family back together. Our four kids deserve more than all the arguing and unsafe feeling they were having in their own home. I wish my husband could realize that he not only hurt himself but also his family, but he hasn't come to that point yet and my heart does hurt for him, the wonderful and loving man I fell in love with 17 years ago. We have grown up together but along the way it seems as he went to sleep and is now barely waking up and I am all grown up and he is still a child wondering what happened to me. When all along it's my husband that has been in a daze.

  • Cheryl

    March 31st, 2012

    As I read your story tears rolled down my eyes, this is exactly what I am going thru. I have prayed many times and will continue to pray that the Lord will save him and take this addiction from him. Just a few weeks ago we celebrated 19 years of marriage but it was just another day to him. It is sad that this drug has such a hold on a person. He recently got out of jail after 52 days and man I thought the world was going to change by what he would say in his letters and phone calls and it has to some degree and to others it is still the same. I have been attending NA meetings with him to support but I don't know that it is working he is only going cause it was court ordered but I'm hoping by time the court ordered ones are over he will admit that he is an addict and will continue to go. I know that I serve a GOD that will never leave me nor forsake me and that's how I have made it this far.

  • Michelle

    April 4th, 2012

    I pray every day for my husband, but I more recently started praying for my strength and to get out of this deep painful despair. I too, am going through this. He is now living with another woman who started him using meth. He has indicated he wants to come home, a million times and actually came home a few times, but he never stays, you see the focus and determination of leaving, he is so sick and the night before he leaves he sweats in his sleep very badly and is so sick and he sleeps on the couch . When he's home he is always sick and does not have many of his old good traits. He broke my heart a million times, He has spent more than our budget and left me to catch up, he has run the bank account negative to the point that it absorbed my entire check 3 times in a row- (this was a few years ago) he has left us without money, behind on rent and with nowhere to go. God intervened there and I got offered a loan to get a new start. He promised to come with us that he was going to come home to his family, but it took him months to come home and when he did he came home for 5 days- then left with 500.00 out of my bank account and our wedding rings and left in the car I drive to get to work. He has broken my heart and the hearts of his kids and they too are used to it. They are right he is our addiction. We want him to be better, to get help to be the person he used to be. I cried when I read this story because I understand it so deeply. I dream about him almost every night, good and bad, I hurt for him, and our family, I feel from the bottom of my heart every time we are pushed to the side or forgotten about like trash. I dream of the day when he will come home and say he wants to get help that he wants to stop this life and what he is doing to us. We have 3 beautiful children together and I am doing the best I can to raise them in a completely different environment. I am struggling to pay the bills and my car needs work that I can't afford and he is not helping in any way. I have never been a drug user and I am tired of trying to understand. I am tired of hurting and watching my kids hurt. I want a better life for our family. God bless you all and your families, God please also bless my husband and our family. Please make things right.

  • Jen

    March 20th, 2013

    Ladonna,

    I'm crying right now while I type this comment to you. Your poem really hit me since I am going through the same thing, most of the things you wrote is happening to me right now. I have 3 beautiful girls that he's been neglecting and favoring his friends. I know you wrote this a long time ago. I hope you are doing well and the kids. God Bless

  • Liz

    December 21st, 2013

    Hello. Until now I have felt so alone dealing with the same pain everyone else is going through. I don't know how I happened upon this website, but I believe it was God I have been praying every day for 4 years. I wasn't sure God was listening and my faith was growing thin. I just went through the "crash" phase with my husband. He told me how much he loved me and in the next breath he was gone. He came back home 5 days later then stayed in bed for 6 days, and did nothing but complain about being in pain and he was tired. Then he gets a phone call from a friend while I was at work and miraculously he is up and running again and just left again tonight. I went to chapel this morning and begged God to make it stop. And I come home and this is what happens? Isn't God listening? My husband and I have been married for 22 years. 4 years ago he started meth and drinking excessively. He drinks so he will not have the look of being on meth. Ridiculous huh? Double trouble. This year in February he lost his job he had for 30 years delivering bottled water. I am the sole provider but get no acknowledgement. He has left several unfinished jobs around the house for years, and I work from 9am to 7:30pm every night so we can make ends meet and I hate coming home. Our kids are all grown and their hearts are broken. This is a dad who fished and camped and was involved in scouting and baseball with our kids while they were growing up. We have eight grandchildren and they don't even know him. I'm scared. So scared. I'm still so in love with my husband, but I realize he is not my husband, I spoke to someone I met who was an addict many many years ago and is now a pastor. He told me that meth was the devils drug. Yet my husband claims he prays! What? I just drop my head when he tells me that. Oh God it hurts so badly! Why don't you listen? Please make him stop! :( (I'm sorry).

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