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Letters From Family & Friends of Meth Addicts

  • Mar
    15

    Lost the Faith

    I married my high school sweetheart when we were both 18 years old. He worked for the railroad and I stayed home and raised our 5 children. I went back to college and became a teacher. Last year we celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary. We are a close family with a close extended family (on my husband's side, not mine). Last fall he fell and dislocated his shoulder. When it was time for him to be released for work he tested positive for meth and the RR made him see a counselor. We were all in a state of shock and chose to believe him that it started while he was off with his shoulder. He was off work for 2 months, saw a counselor 4 times, and we all believed (or hoped) that he was telling us the truth. 5 months later he tested positive again and lost his job of 32 years. He immediately sought out a treatment program on his own and started 4 days after losing his job. I am sick at heart. I am scared, angry, and so very, very sad. Our youngest child (our only daughter graduated from high school this spring (2 days after her dad lost his job) and will head to college this fall. Our children have been very supportive and are a great help to each other, although nobody can understand why he started or what an addiction even is. His parents are in poor health and are devastated. His mom just can't understand at all and feels very, very guilty. I don't feel guilty. I understand addiction, having an alcoholic father and an alcoholic/addict sister, both whom were fired from good jobs. I guess I just don't understand what my role needs to be in his recovery. How can I support him when sometimes just being around him hurts so bad? How can I be positive about his recovery when I'm still dealing with all the negative fallout? How can I ever, ever trust him again? I should also say I don't have much faith in counselors. You see, my sister was the head of one of the biggest treatment centers in our area, and that's the job she was fired from.

    Hurting


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