My name is Jessica. I am 17 years old and have been sober/clean for 9 months. I started smoking pot my 8th grade summer. It was great, lay under the bright blue sky and blaze a blunt, completely mellow feeling. Although I loved pot, I immensely disliked drugs. I lived in a small town where people got bored and did hard-core drugs. Those people disgusted me. I started high school in 9th grade. I watched kids all around me experiment with meth and ruin their lives. I never understood why someone would willingly kill themselves like that. I hated tweakers. I got in this fight with a tweaker during a camping trip with friends at the end of 9th grade. I told him he was a fuck face for chasing Tina and who the hell continues to do something like that. Out of Compulsion and stubbornness I grabbed his glass pipe and hit it. I hit it hard. That first hit was like I had just been born. I was smarter than everyone else, funnier, I had experience. I hated myself more or regretted anything like I regret that night. Before I started smoking I was a tall bombshell blonde hair, green eyed teenager. I had been in dance since i was three. I was gorgeous. Two months after that first hit, and "daily doubles" (which turned into hourly doubles); I became the sickest looking thing ever. I dropped 50 lbs. to a weight of 99 pounds. I am 5'9. I looked like I was about to break. My hair fell out from lack of nutrients. I had hair people would KILL for and it's all gone and gross now. On one of the few days I went to school I freaked out during gym. While playing tennis I saw all these people running around me and little dots everywhere. I thought my classmates where trying to kill me with tennis balls. I disappeared with a cook for a month after that. My mom is a minister. I was a good kid. I had a good life. I messed my life up. Not alone mind you. My dragon of happiness and dagger of hell was always beside me. I hate tweakers and I became the most tweaked out person you could ever imagine. I'm so sorry to everyone. To people who are addicted to meth, to the people who live in communities where other people do meth, to first time users who just DON'T KNOW. Meth is the anti-Christ. Meth KILLS in every possible way. "I'll be loving you always. With a love that's true oh always" SPUN Billy Corgan. Spun best damned movie ever. Misty green and blue love to love to love you.
Jessica, Colorado Springs, Colorado, USA
Click to Enlarge1-800-853-1387