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Letters From Family & Friends of Meth Addicts

  • Mar
    14

    Still Grieving

    I was married to a meth addict. I didn't even realize it until after we were married. He was angry, violent, volatile and dangerous. Twice, he attempted to either suffocate or smother me while I was pregnant with our son. The night I was in labor, he slapped me and dragged me across the floor when I found him in bed with another girl. I never spent any time with him after that.

    Our son is now 6 weeks old and his dad has only seen him for about an hour total since his birth. Jason is out of control and even threatening me and our son since I won't let him see the baby for fear of our safety. Meth is not only destroying his life it destroyed our marriage and any hope he has for a chance at a relationship with his son. To him, the drug is the most important thing. He even was going to put our dog in the pound so he wouldn't have to feed her. (Luckily, my mother in law took her in). Each day that goes by I am grateful that I got out alive, safe and that our son was born healthy and beautiful.

    Because of meth, I have to be a single mom. Luckily, I have a wonderful support network of friends and family who are helping me. But in my heart I'm always going to grieve for my husband and what could have been.

    Heather

5 Responses to Still Grieving

  • Jackie

    January 11th, 2012

    I feel your pain! It's been one week since my ex and I broke up over meth. He had went to prison for three years for the drug and just got out in May. I met him after he went to prison, so I never really knew what to watch for. Our relationship was going great. He had a great job, we had our own place, and we were happy. We started having problems in December. He was always irritable and always seemed wore out. One day one of his friends were over and they stayed up until about four in the morning. It never clicked. We broke up about a week before Christmas and on Christams Eve I got a call that he was in the hospital and overdosed on meth. I was so shocked and so heartbroken. I didn't know what to say. We got back together and promised each other things would be different. He promised he would stop the drug. He was so tired and would eat and drink so much when he was coming down. He would say that he felt like he couldnt do anything, not even crawl out of bed. He was sick to his stomach and just felt awful. About a week ago we got into a fight and he said he was gonna go on a walk. Fifteen minutes later I got a text saying he was with his uncle. I knew right then he was using again. I was devastated. He chose meth over me. He says he loves me, but he doesn't want to be with me and that he doesn't want to quit using drugs. After all of this, I found out he was going to propose to me before he went back on the drugs. I even saw the rings. Its so hard to just let go of everything when I am still so in love with him and want so much more for him. I just don't know what to do anymore...

  • Johnna Morgan

    February 21st, 2012

    I can feel your pain also, my current husband was a meth user and cocaine user, he went to prison, and got out and accepted the Lord into his life said he was a new person, and realized where he went wrong, and was clean to my knowledge while we were dating, we met at church, and we had a great life, we were falling in love and finally moved in with each other, he loved my girls, and my 9 year old, even wanted her to call him daddy, after we got married, and he asked me to marry him, and we did get married in our church on Dec 11th, 2011, we had a small ceremony but it was very nice, just very close friends and family, we had a very nice life going together, and a happy family, we even couldn't wait to go get our first family picture done, and it turned out great, well we were going to his hometown for Christmas, to see his family, and everything was great until he stayed out one night all night, when I questioned him as to where he was and he lied about it, and never returned back home, and when we did see each other, I could tell he was on meth, but after Christmas, celebration we were driving home, and we stopped at a store, and he took his stuff out of the car and took off on me and left me and my girls in a town we didn't know, and to drive home by ourselves, I got into an accident on the way home, I fell asleep, and we were all okay, but I was sad he left us for the drugs, and he has been gone now 71 days, still where he left us, won't talk to us, and when he does it is only to ask for money and profanity words, he has been with many woman since he has been there, and recently ended up in jail for possession drug paraphernalia, and he still won't talk to me, I love him with all my heart, and want him to get help and come back home to us, but I know he won't even when he gets out of jail, because he says he loves us, but he loves his drugs more than he loves us, I am so committed to him still haven't removed my wedding ring, from the day he put it on me, I just pray daily that he will have a change of heart, and decide to straighten out his life and be a husband and a dad again, because I don't know what to do, or where to turn anymore, I am so lost and feel helpless, I am still in so much love with him...

  • Patricia Moran

    February 28th, 2012

    I don't know what to think anymore. My husband has been using meth the whole time we have been married. I moved out, but I kept coming back. I feel numb. I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

  • Kaye

    November 19th, 2012

    I know how both of you feel. I have recently left my husband of over 20 years because of his drug addiction. I miss the man I fell in love with, but I try to remember he is gone and has been replaced by this person I don't know and I don't want to know! I'm angry because I lost my home and my dreams as well as my future. If I can get past the anger I think I will be ok.

  • Crystal

    January 24th, 2013

    It is amazing to me how many people have had the same or similar experience as me. My husband was on Cocaine since he was 14 years old and started using meth when he was about 21. He was in prison off and on for about 6 years. During his last 4 year run is when we met. He said he wanted to change his life around and when he got out, he did a really good at it. He got a job for the first time in his life, picked up side work so we could have everything we wanted. We got a house together and furnished it from the ground up all by ourselves. I was so deep in love with this man. He suddenly left one day and never returned. We didn't even see each other or talk for 7 months. After which we started running into each other. He said he couldn't stop thinking about me, he tried to love someone else and he couldn't because he was in love with me. Within a week of us getting back together, he asked me to marry him. The very next day we eloped. I was so happy. It was shortly after that I figured out something was wrong. He was no longer the same man that I had been with the first year he was out of prison. After him staying up for 3 days straight once, I figured out that he was back on drugs. He had gotten hooked again a few months before he came back to me. I tried my best to help him; he claimed it wasn't a problem. It wasn't meth, it was cocaine and he could quit. That wasn't true. He left after his birthday party in December and hasn't been home since. He does admit he is back on Meth. He looks horrible and is staying in a crappy motel in the druggy part of town. I also found out shortly after he left that I'm pregnant with his child. We have now been together 5 and half years, and the man I'm married to and pregnant by is not around. He doesn't ask about me, the baby, none of it. The meth is the most important thing to him. I'm having such a hard time coping, I just don't know what to do. I know first-hand the good man he can be. He was so incredible when he was sober. Now he is nothing like the man I fell in love with. I don't know if I should just let him go, or hold out hope for the man that I feel is my soul mate and the love of my life. This is my first child and I want badly for my child to know the wonderful man I married, not the drug induced zombie of himself that he has become. What do I do???

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