Where exactly do I start to tell you my story? My name is Acacia and I have been a meth addict for 12 years. It started when I was 13 years old. My older sister introduced it to me but it didn't seem to be a problem back then, or so I thought. I would use once or twice and then go months and then use again once or twice.
Then when I turned 15 my life took a major turn. I went to hang out with some friends on Main Street which is what a lot of the teens did at that time. As me and a couple friends drove through the sonic parking lot we heard 13 gunshots cry out and one just so happened to go through our back windshield. We pulled back into sonic and as me and one of my friends got out we looked over to see that my friend john was lying on the seat lifeless. Now being 15 years old and never really going out searching for trouble or hanging with the wrong crowds this really traumatized my mind. He passed away that next morning and I couldn't handle it. I used for a couple months after that, finally cleaning up when my mom found out. I stayed clean for a while after that.
When I turned 18 I had my daughter and things seemed to be going good until on night hanging out with some friends a kid got mad over 5 dollars and stabbed a friend of mine 10 times and I was the only one who stayed to wait for the ambulance. Had I left he wouldn't have lived. That sent me into another month or two of using.
I had my first son at 20 years old and shortly after that I started doing really bad I was now using all day every day and stealing to support my habit. It went on for 6 months until I realized I couldn't take care of my kids. I cleaned up yet again. I was doing really good, had my second son, and got 2 years of sobriety and then my niece passed away. She was 19 days away from her first birthday and one day she was healthy and the next she was gone. I didn't know how to deal with it so yet again I turned to dope to numb the pain of my loss.
I was one of those people who always said ?I won't ever lose my kids, I won't ever use for a year, I won't ever put a needle in my arm" well guess what I dii it all. It took me 3 years away from my kids away from my family and with absolutely nothing to wake up from that nightmare. I did it all in my addiction, and some of it I am still trying to forgive myself for. I have days where I can't look at myself because I am so ashamed of what I have done. But now I am back and I have 67 days clean and am working on my family and myself. I thank god every single day for one more day clean and for letting me hit my rock bottom.
June 13th, 2012
Stay strong and I'm praying for you too. I'm myself am an addict trying to get clean and your story is an inspiration to me. Thank you
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