Meth Addict's Personal Stories

Jan
18

Enjoying Life Without Drugs

I was born in a rather large city of New York State; 24 years ago. I had a troubled childhood from the start. A mother that didn't want to care for her child and a father that was there, but never there. I don't have any memories of my life before the age of 7. At the age of 7, I began raiding my parents' liquor cabinet and drinking pretty heavily. When I was 9, I was given a key to the house so I could didn't need a babysitter. Two hours alone after school wasn't all that bad. Or so they thought.

When I was 12, I was introduced to cannabis and often stole from people to keep up my habit. Never getting caught. That same year, my sister was born and I was to take care of her while my parents did what they wanted. Staying home with a infant for 2-7 hours a day. I never had any friends growing up, because I never could bring them home.

My mother always thought that I was doing something promiscuous behind her back, even as a small child. I began smoking cigarettes at the age of 14 and smoking cannabis even heavier. My parents' house was like a prison to me; either I had to take care of my sister or I was on "permanent grounding". I ran away from home that year, bouncing from house to house. A guy that I knew decided that I was an easy target and raped me.

At the age of 15, I was allowed to join a school-to-work program, considering I was getting straight A's. I was still living from house to house at this time and supporting myself. This continued until i was 17, when I met my husband, Brian. He took me in. I thought I was in love, so I married him. Big mistake. He was abusive in every way. Eight months after I married him, my oldest was born. I thought the blessed event would change Brian. It made him worse. He was jealous of the attention I was giving to my son. The beatings got worse, but I stayed with him. I quit smoking cannabis to please him.

I began reaching out to people on the computer to try to stay sane. I found Spasey. He eased my pain and a "relationship" bloomed. Two years later, my daughter was born. My husband's beatings got even worse. When my daughter was 9 months old and my son, 3, Spasey sent me bus tickets to leave my husband and go to California. I went, leaving my kids behind. It was a wakeup call for my husband. I left in the night. Little that I know at the time, I was pregnant with my third child, another of my husband's. I was enjoying life and learning some lessons of independence. My youngest was born and adopted; I couldn't care for him and found a great family for him. Two months after his birth, I got back into drugs again. Cannabis, cocaine and speed all during the next 6 months.

At my 2 month post-birth check-up, I weighed 165 pounds. I got "laid off" from my job; I think they knew I was doing something. A month later, I was on my way back to New York. My family was so shocked when they saw me I had gone down to 85 pounds and looked like a skeleton. That was eight months ago, my first day of my recovery. I haven't gone back to drugs since. I kicked my husband out of the family home and haven't regretted it. I have my children and I'm enjoying life, without drugs.

Thank you, everyone. Marian
3 Comments
Posted on January 18th, 2011
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3 Responses to Enjoying Life Without Drugs

REPLY

Peter D.

October 28th, 2011

I can totally relate to your story. On one hand it makes me sad that there's someone else who had to live the life that I did, but on the other hand it really helps to make me feel less alone. My parents were technically around, but only technically. When they were around they were drunk or high and incredibly violent. By the time I was 10 years old I tried my best not to be at home very often. I'd stay with friends as often as I could. When there were no friends to stay with I'd spend the night in the train station or anywhere else warm and safer than home I could find.
When I was 16 years old I met this guy who I thought was an awesome man. He let me stay with him as much as I wanted. I felt safe at his house so I stayed there a lot. I fell in love with him and we started dating even though he was about 15 years older than I was. He let me drink with him and eventually he got me hooked on meth. At the time I thought he was being good to me, but now I realize it was just another control tactic.
While I was with him I had my beautiful twins. After I had the twins he started physically abusing me and I knew I had to get out. It took me a while, but I got out of the relationship and went to rehab and now my daughters and I are finally safe and happy.
REPLY

Michael C.

October 28th, 2011

It's awesome that you're enjoying life without drugs! I can finally say that I'm also enjoying my life without drugs. I don't entirely know how I got here. It seemed like I had all of the odds stacked against me. I was addicted to meth when I was 14 years old. I'd skip school to use. By the time I was a junior in high school I had completed so few credits that my guidance counselor I wouldn't be able to graduate on time, no matter what. So, I dropped out of school. I didn't see a point in going to school if I wasn't going to graduate on time, and then I had even more time to use meth.

I didn't realize how horribly my life was going until I was 23 years old and ran into a couple of people in Wal-Mart that I knew from back in high school. They had graduated from college and were starting careers. I had nothing to say for myself, except that I was still just as high as before and had wasted my life with meth. That's when I realized I had to do something. I went to a 12-step meeting that night and realized that I'm still young and can take back my life. My sponsor has been amazing and has been helping me to work through the steps and get clean. I'm studying for my GED and can't wait to go to college. I'm so happy now that I have a life without meth!
REPLY

Scott H.

October 28th, 2011

Life without meth definitely is amazing, and it keeps getting more amazing, doesn't it? I sure think it does. I was hooked on meth for about two years. It sounds like a short period of time, but in that time I lost everything and everyone that was important in my life. Not only did I lose my job, but I live in a small town and earned a reputation for being a horrible employee and a drug addict, so no one wanted to hire me. I stole money from my wife and from our kids' college funds, so she left me and took our kids with her. She said that she still loved me but needed to insulate our children from my addiction. I didn't know what that meant at the time.

I didn't know what to do, but I knew I had to get my life back. I started going to 12-step meetings, hoping and praying they'd work. I was blessed with the strength to finally quit meth and get my life back. Little by little I showed the people around me that I was a meth addict in recovery and that I could be trusted. I go to a meeting every single day, work full-time and visit two or three times a week with my wife and kids. One day I hope to earn enough of her trust back that she'll move back in with me, but I know that will take some time. Life without meth is a good life!

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