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Meth Addict's Personal Stories

  • Jan

    Enjoying Life Without Drugs

    Enjoying Life Without Drugs

    I was born in a rather large city of New York State; 24 years ago. I had a troubled childhood from the start. A mother that didn't want to care for her child and a father that was there, but never there. I don't have any memories of my life before the age of 7. At the age of 7, I began raiding my parents' liquor cabinet and drinking pretty heavily. When I was 9, I was given a key to the house so I could didn't need a babysitter. Two hours alone after school wasn't all that bad. Or so they thought.

    When I was 12, I was introduced to cannabis and often stole from people to keep up my habit. Never getting caught. That same year, my sister was born and I was to take care of her while my parents did what they wanted. Staying home with a infant for 2-7 hours a day. I never had any friends growing up, because I never could bring them home.

    My mother always thought that I was doing something promiscuous behind her back, even as a small child. I began smoking cigarettes at the age of 14 and smoking cannabis even heavier. My parents' house was like a prison to me; either I had to take care of my sister or I was on "permanent grounding". I ran away from home that year, bouncing from house to house. A guy that I knew decided that I was an easy target and raped me.

    At the age of 15, I was allowed to join a school-to-work program, considering I was getting straight A's. I was still living from house to house at this time and supporting myself. This continued until i was 17, when I met my husband, Brian. He took me in. I thought I was in love, so I married him. Big mistake. He was abusive in every way. Eight months after I married him, my oldest was born. I thought the blessed event would change Brian. It made him worse. He was jealous of the attention I was giving to my son. The beatings got worse, but I stayed with him. I quit smoking cannabis to please him.

    I began reaching out to people on the computer to try to stay sane. I found Spasey. He eased my pain and a "relationship" bloomed. Two years later, my daughter was born. My husband's beatings got even worse. When my daughter was 9 months old and my son, 3, Spasey sent me bus tickets to leave my husband and go to California. I went, leaving my kids behind. It was a wakeup call for my husband. I left in the night. Little that I know at the time, I was pregnant with my third child, another of my husband's. I was enjoying life and learning some lessons of independence. My youngest was born and adopted; I couldn't care for him and found a great family for him. Two months after his birth, I got back into drugs again. Cannabis, cocaine and speed all during the next 6 months.

    At my 2 month post-birth check-up, I weighed 165 pounds. I got "laid off" from my job; I think they knew I was doing something. A month later, I was on my way back to New York. My family was so shocked when they saw me I had gone down to 85 pounds and looked like a skeleton. That was eight months ago, my first day of my recovery. I haven't gone back to drugs since. I kicked my husband out of the family home and haven't regretted it. I have my children and I'm enjoying life, without drugs.

    Thank you, everyone. Marian

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